My Mum the "Softie"

Who I am today is largely influenced by the person my mother was. (For those of you who don't know, mum passed away on June 11th, 1999.)

My mother's mum died in childbirth when mum was only three and half years old, leaving five children to be cared for by mum's Dad. They moved in with 'grandmother' and somewhere along the line, there were a couple of aunts looking after them too. The baby died at six months as the story goes, due to a spider bite but in later years, my mum found out that it was quite possibly due to SIDS. Since my mother's childhood was in the forties, you would be correct to assume that it wasn't an easy upbringing.

At fourteen, mum left school to go and start earning to chip in for the family upkeep and she had a brother younger than herself. This is not the time to tell you some of my mum's recollections of her childhood but who knows what another post might bring.

Mum and Dad were married in 1961 and began their family a year later. If you've ever read a book, "Growing Up Born Again", you will know that our family fit into that sterotype quite neatly, but without the Americanisms. Mum was a stay at home mother and was always there when we got home from school. We had fresh bread every day for our sandwiches which were never repeats of yesterday's lunch. i.e. Sometimes we'd have egg sandwiches, sometimes meat sandwiches, cheese and tomator etc.

We went on many family vacations to simple places that were inexpensive. We camped down near the beach at Rosebud, Inverloch, Cape Paterson and often went to the Grampians. Whenever possible, we'd also go to the city and see the Shrine, Parliment House and the museum which was free of charge in those days. Mum and Dad wanted to make sure that our education was broadened so they'd find the cheapest, educational things for us to do.

Sunday was church and family day and if we wanted to have a friend over for lunch, it had to be a church friend. We were not allowed to play with our school friends and usually Sunday was kept for just family. We were not allowed to watch TV, go to the shops and Sunday afternoons were for quiet activities. Someone once told me that I had a "legalistic" upbringing but to me, it was just part of our family's life and even now, I am still grateful for those times.

Our family was very committed to church activities, as most Christian families were in those days. We would head off to Sunday school, go to church in the morning and in the evenings, mum or dad would go to church and take those of us who wanted to go. I liked going to chruch on Sunday night. We were involved in Girl's Brigade, mum was a leader and I went right up to the time I was about 15 or 16. Dad and the boys went to Boys' Brigade and Dad was captain there for many years.

Mum was a very approachable person and we would bring our friends home and they'd sit in the kitchen talking with mum and having "a cuppa". As we grew into teenagers, as our friends got a car and their licence, (at 18) it was not uncommon to come home and find someone in the kitchen, chatting with mum. Even the most rebellious teenager, the most argumentative child would find a listening ear in that kitchen and mum was willing to dole out her advice and to pray for them.

A lot of mum's peers didn't understand why mum was able to give advice to unruly teenagers and mum was even accused of being "too soft". The teenagers kept coming and going and years later were thankful that mum had cared enough to listen and help them when others had given up on them.

Also around our middle to late teens, our church had a bus program and Dad was the bus driver who would pick up Asian students and drive them to and from church. Again, our house was open and many of them would come back for Sunday lunch and for fellowship. Our house was always open and there was nothing unusual about 13 or 14 of us sitting down together to share Sunday lunch. Sometimes I would go to a friend's place for lunch and it would be so quiet in comparison to what I was used to.

Later on, mum went and did further education and became a recognised counsellor. She recounted how one of her clients told her that she didn't understand because she had had such an easy life. The client had seen mum as happily married, with lovely children, committed to Christ and in her eyes, that meant mum did not know hardships and trials. Ha ha.

I wonder if when people look at me, they draw those same conclusions. Here I am, married with a well-behaved teenage son (at present) working as a teacher in a Christian school, living in a lovely home - "Ain't life grand?" as my mum would quote. It's so easy to see the outside and they are right, I am content and happy in my life but all things come at a cost and while it's good at the moment, I don't know what the future holds.

I am glad for the upbringing I have had. The upbringing most of all, has shown to me that God is indeed involved in every aspect of our life and that He loves us very much. He is a holy and just God who has a purpose for every individual. Without Him, I am nothing. With Him, all things are possible. No matter what I am going through, I need to trust Him and walk close to Him.