Scattergories Meme

As all other memes start, I begin in the same way: I saw this meme at Susie's and liked the looks of it. Though I was not tagged, I took up the challenge and played along with it. After all, Scattergories is a favourite game of mine, even if I haven't played it in ages, and using the letter "C" looked to be easier than it is.

These are the rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following…They must be REAL places, names, things…NOTHING made up! If you can’t think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

My name is Carolanne which means my letter is C

1. Famous Athlete: Betty Cuthbert
2. 4 letter word: care
3. Street name: Cameron Street
4. Color: Cream
5. Gifts/presents: Chocolates, Candy, CD's
6. Vehicles: Commodore
7. Tropical Locations: Carribeans
8. College Majors: counselling
9. Dairy Products: cheese
10. Things in a Souvenir Shop: coins, clothing
11. Boy Name: Colin
12. Girl Name: Colleen
13. Movie Titles: Casablanca
14. Alcohol: Cougar (according to my 14 yr old son!)
15. Occupations: Cleaner
16. Flowers: Carnations
17. Celebrities: Cindy Crawford
18. Magazines: Inside Cricket
19. U.S. Cities: Cincinnati
20. Pro Sports Teams: Carlton (AFL)
21. Something found in a kitchen: collander
22. Reason for being late: Curlingwand got stuck in my hair and I couldn't get them out, couldn't get the car started and then I got chased by a cheetah and got caught up crossing the road with children who were going on an excursion.
23. Something You Throw Away: Chipped cups
24 Things You Shout: Come here now, Children!
25. Cartoon Character: Casper

There you have it. Cornered, I might admit to cheating but sinCe it was only to check correct usage of words, I consider it permissable. If you can cope, I challenge you to complete the meme!

Tell Me What You Think Meme

I decided to post my responses to the Meme that Susie asked here since this is the site where you're supposed to find out about me - my past, facts etc. I know you find out about me at the other 2 blogsites too but since I haven't posted here in awhile, it's one way to get it going again.
Enjoy!

1. As a child, what did you always say you wanted to be when you grew up?
I recall wanting to be a nurse even though all my teachers, friends and my mum thought I wanted to be a teacher. Just because I used to spend my playtimes at school "teaching" my friends and acting out the teacher was no reason to believe I didn't want to be a nurse. I don't know why I gave up the dream of being a nurse because it was so long ago and being a teacher is the best career I could have chosen. There's so much challenge, fulfillment, enjoyment, variety and so many other things.

2. If you had to choose one thing that you've always dreamed of doing, what would it be? What is stopping you?
I can't say that I have any dreams unfulfilled. I often dream of learning to surf but I don't really feel that passionate about it. I have travelled and met some online friends and would like to meet some others but time and money influence when that could happen again. Sometimes I dream of living in the country, real country but that would mean other complications for working, friends etc. I am content with the life I have lived and am living.

3. Who is your biggest fan? Who is always encouraging you to be all that you can be?
My biggest fan when I was growing up was my mum and my dad but my mum was the most vocal about it. Both of them encouraged all of us to do our best and accepted whatever results we brought hom as long as it was our best. My mum had dreams for me and would often tell me my strengths and give me realistic dreams about what I could do in the future. When she passed away in 1999, I lost the reassurance that she would give and yet, her encouragement and words are still a part of my heart.

4. What bible study or book (besides the obvious-the Bible) has most impacted your life to date?
To be honest, I have read so many study guides and books that I can not pinpoint just one book. Max Lucado's "In the Grip of Grace" was an important book to me and Bible studies I have done with good friends using different study guides have also been important. I think God meets you where you're at (Emilie Barnes) and provides the books or study that you need for that time of life - assuming you want to grow.

5. When are you the happiest?
This is another difficult question to answer because there are so many "situations" where I am happy. I am happy walking along the beach on my own. I am happy spending time with my friends and family together. I am happy celebrating birthdays and special occasions and I am happy when I look at my class and see them all engrossed in their work.
"Happy" isn't so much the word as "content".
Recently my friend Heather said to someone, "You stay here and keep my friend, Carolanne happy" and as I was already smiling, it was acknowledged that it's not such a difficult thing to do.

So that's about it. Did you learn anything that you didn't know before? I would tag 3 people as I'm supposed to do but I'm not sure who reads this blogsite. If I could tag anyone, it would have to be Art, Kareen and Vicki. Here's hoping ~~~~~

Church and Ministry Part 3

This is a tricky post to make which has the potential to perhaps offend people close to me and yet, I hope that it does not. You see, this is my thoughts and reflections as I journey along the road and as you read it, you also become part of my journey. As you get to know me and interract with me, you too, become part of my life and I, of yours. Sometimes in our journey we go through foggy valleys, wondering where on earth we're going. We try waving the fog away but as we walk, step by step, there are clear patches in the midst of the fog. We all long for the clear blue skies and days filled with sunshine but those are best appreciated after the grey days.

Sometimes it's good to have a friend take us by the hand and lead us to the clearer paths and sometimes it's just as valuable to have someone walking along side of us, listening, loving and being patient while we tackle the fog. All this to say, that I truly do not intend to offend anyone nor do I want you to take it personally - this is my journey and I have to walk along it step by step. Each step is important and at every step, God is there. Obviously, I'm not even trying to pretend that I have made it or that I know everything. This is where I'm at now.

A couple of posts ago in the "Read and Real" post, I alluded to the fact that I wonder what church is all about. I have always been committed to church in my attendance and in my ministry. I encourage people to attend church and to belong. I know that I've been taught that we need fellowship, to encourage and to be encouraged, to live godly lives in our secular society. I go to church and hear a sermon. I talk with friends but the real nitty gritty bit of encouragement, even of exhorting others to love and good deeds is put aside as we sip our coffee and make a lot of noisy chatter. Church/Sunday morning is not the time for delving and deep conversations nor for dumping and who has time to share when the trust and time are not there?

Worship is something we do every day. When we come to church on Sunday, our worship time is continued and benefitted by worshipping with others. There is something awesome about "O For A Thousand Tongues" hymn being sung by more than 1000 people. I love some hymns sung without accompaniment. I love the prayerful quiet and I love being with people who love to worship our God.

But sometimes I wonder if now, I'm just going through the motions. You see, after all the hurt we had to go through in leaving a ministry that we loved and that was our life, we had to move on. The move was not primarily of our choice and things were said by people that I hope they regretted saying later on, although they never sought to apologise to us. I am not saying we were 100% in the right but there were some people who were quite unjustified in their bitter attacks.

We had to find a church to attend. I didn't want to attend any church and didn't for about a month or more. Churches in the town invited us and a church of the same denomination 35 minutes away, invited us but in the end, we chose to attend a different denomination in another town. That church included some of our close friends and also included a good youth group with friends for Nathan as well. I still remember the first Sunday we attended. We sat there and I looked around, mostly focussed on the bricks. I kept thinking, "We don't belong here. I am not at home. Will I ever be at home anywhere?" We knew that it wasn't the church's fault, the pastor's fault or anyone else's fault that we felt like that. It was all part of the grieving process.

There were some theological issues we differed with them on and I wondered if we would ever get past that. They were things that had been part of my upbringing and teaching and it would be difficult to change my position on it. Most things can be swept under the carpet, or at least, put away into the too-hard basket if everything else is good.

My dh (dear husband) will eventually meet with the denomination (den) head who was a part of our departure at our church here and will deal with some issues. I personally feel the den head could have been a lot more supportive. What kind of "employer" doesn't follow up his pastor for 2 years, if he really values that pastor? The meeting was to be last week but when dh rang to confirm the time, the den-head was too busy and has now put it off to Nov. 21st. In the meantime, my dh suggested that perhaps we should return to attending the den. he is ordained in.

That means we would still travel to church for 30 mins + but in a different direction. It would mean we'd have to build up friendships and find another Bible study and as for youth group, our son would have to find new friendships there, too. My response was that we don't "owe" that den anything and I am not ready to move again. I am tired of being uprooted. Perhaps that is why I don't even want him to go back into ministry. It seems we get settled and life gets good, then oopsie-daisy, let's go somewhere else now.

We believe that if he goes back into ministry, we both have to be committed 100% and dh is willing to wait a lifetime for that to happen since he believes God called him to be a pastor. At the moment, he'll be waiting a lifetime because there is NO WAY I want to be a pw again. I do not want to move house. I love my job and I am very content here. He, too, is content in his job and he's not asking for us to move but he just wants to look at options.

So, I dig my heels in. I don't want to miss out on what God wants but I don't want to be hurt again. I know I am not ready to go back into ministry and I don't know when (or if) I ever will be again. My brother wrote me an email and said,

":I'm not surprised you're not ready for ministry yet. However, have you worked out what would make you ready, and what issues you need to come to terms with before you are ready? Sometimes, the fact that we are not ready may cooincide with the Lord's call back into ministry, creating a greater dependency on Him."

This is all too hard for me. I want stability. If God really wants us back in ministry, He's going to have to soften my heart and that will only happen if the wall around it is knocked down first. I know people will have their opinions about what is and what they think it should be - you're entitled to your opinions. Don't use your words to try and change my way of thinking, use prayer.

So that's where I'm at. You might not understand or agree with it but then, you haven't walked in my shoes and you haven't heard the whole story - there's only so much one can say in a forum like this. I'm not even sure how to close off this post and perhaps I should have said more or less but for now, I'm done. Thanks for reading this far.

Church and Ministry Part 2

After a short interim ministry, we were invited to come to this town and for my dh to be pastor at the local church here. At first, I resisted due to a number of reasons but on the day we agreed to be interviewed, we took mum with us so she could look after our 4 year old son and things were better than I could have imagined.

The town is near the beach - hooray, an oasis! The congregation was made up of a variety of age groups, had Christians at all walks in their life and even had a couple of people who I had grown up with. As we drove home, I was bursting forth with ideas and my mum remarked how good it was to see me "back to my ol' self", again. We had been completely honest with the pastoral interview committee since we didn't see any reason to cover up where we were coming from. One of my key questions was, "What are your expectations for your pastor's wife?" My response was that I would take my time finding out where God wanted me and in His time, I would take up the ministries He wanted me to be part of. I was not willing to fit into a stereotype and would not (because I could not) play the piano during church services.

Our first years were great and I even helped co-lead a ladies' Bible study, started up practice for the worship team and occasionally took my guitar along to music. I love worship leading - it's a big part of my heart and who I am and I had even done a subject at Bible college with regards to worship. I also helped run high school aged youth group. On top of all this, I returned to CRT (casual relief teaching) work where my son was at school.

People change and move on and that affects the dynamics of church. New people come in and add another dimension that wasn't there previously. While there, in 1999, my mum passed away - that was a huge HUGE!! impact on my life with lots of grieving and pain and feeling a loss so great. In 2002, I became full-time teacher at a Christian school (see a previous post) and again that was another huge change.

Time goes on and at the end of 7 years, we needed to move on. Eighty percent of the congregation did not want us to move on and again, it was a struggle. The denomination heads, (well their representative), could have dealt with issues a little differently. Of course, there is still some hurt there at the way things were seemingly mishandled.

It was a different departure to our first full-time ministry interstate although some say I handled it better because of what I'd been through there. Sometimes, I don't know. I do feel the den.heads were remiss in providing good care and support for their pastor and his family.

We chose to stay in the rural town and after 4 months, my dh found another job and he appreciates the change but does have to travel an hour each way to work. I am still teaching and love my job and my son is doing well at his school in year 8. It was difficult staying here, in some ways. It means that sometimes when we go shopping, we will see church people - some we are happy to see but others........

We were invited to attend at least 4 other local churches and chose one in the next town where our son attends school and where we have some good friends. It takes 30 minutes to get there but we weren't comfortable with attending a church in this small town. Up until about May this year we were attending a Bible study but that is in recess now. I am part of the music team and do that every fortnight and Russell teaches Sunday school for 5 weeks on, 5 weeks off (or thereabouts). Nathan enjoys attending the youth group with his school (and church) friends.

I guess that ends the church andhistory lesson and brings you up to date with how we got to be where we are now. I will perhaps bring myself to write a part 3 in the next week or so.

Church and Ministry Part 1

We were newly weds when my dh entered into Bible college and I began my first teaching job in a Christian school in the country. It was an exciting time for us, relatively carefree (esp in comparison to later years) and our new church home was a good place to learn about being in ministry full time.

The church I grew up in was evangelical and believed that all are ministers. It encouraged people to use their gifts and talents for the Lord and gave opportunities for even young people to get involved. So, in my teen years, having a heart for Jesus, I began teaching Sunday school. I was involved in youth group and as I got towards my later teens, I became part of the leadership team. My involvement in teaching at church was part of the reason I believed I was called to teaching as a career. My boyfriend (who later became my husband) was involved in leading Sunday school and he also had opportunities to preach.

At our new church, while dh was at Bible college, we again became youth group leaders and teachers for Sunday school. We ran a Bible study together and were also involved in social events with others our age. It was a busy time but we enjoyed it. We were at that church for five years and the main lesson I learnt from the senior pw was that as a pw I was to be the person God created me to be. I didn't have to try and fit into some sterotype of what others thought a pw should be. God gave me unique gifts and abilities to bring glory to Him and He made me as me for His purpose, in whatever role or place He called me to go.

With a bachelor of theology and a post-grad diploma in pastoral counselling, my dh and I moved interstate (two and half thousand kilometres away) to our "new" home and church. It was a coal mining town and although my ideal was that you make your home where you live, others who lived in the town would go home on the weekends and holidays. Not many called that town their home and the average age was 12. Although we were in our late 20's (we both turned 30 while there) we were one of the older couples in the church.

Towards the end of our time there, (we were there for 5 years) some people got political, some chose to be downright spiteful and some took the line of "control". One week, I was considered too extrovert, the next week I was considered too introvert. Our son, who was born at the end of our first year there, was only loved by a few people and it wasn't a healthy place for any of us to be. We were isolated from the denomination heads and those they sent to deal with it, were not particularly constructive or helpful. In fact, upon their departure they admitted that people were lying and would have to be dealt with but that was the end of their "trip". We moved back home.

My parents took us in and we were without a job for a couple of months, although my dh did try some door-to-door sales of an educational program. We were offered an interim senior position and then some kind church folk also gave us a house to live in for that period.

As you can imagine, when we first came home, I was quite angry and hurt. I blamed my husband, the denomination heads and perhaps God, for allowing us to be in that unhealthy place for too long. I deliberately choose not to think about that church and if anything good did come out of it, I still wouldn't recognise it. The interim ministry and Emmaus weekend was used by God to bring healing to my heart and to my soul. The one thread that kept me hanging in there (literally) was worship. I loved worshipping God and I loved music. When I sang worship songs, I knew that God was holding on to me and that He really did love me.

Read & Real Reflections

Being on holidays, I've done some reading but it seems most of the books I've read recently have a common thread. The main characters experience 2 worlds - the "real" and the "other" world which is usually accessed by dreaming. The other world involves the spiritual realm where evil versus good and it seems real. The books I've read include "Black", "Red", "White" by Ted Dekker and "The Novelist" and "The Awakening" by Angela Hunt.

Though it is fiction, it challenges my understanding of reality and perhaps my understanding of who God is. Do most of us put God into a box, however wide and deep its parameters? I think I do. I expect God to fit into my narrow minded understanding. Reading these books (and some blogs) challenge me on my definition of "God is good". We expect God to answer our prayers in a way that we consider to be good and if He answers it differently, we say, "Well that wasn't His will" and sweep it under the proverbial carpet. "It" being our perception of good and being disappointed in God's response.

In "Black", Elyon is depicted as an innocent and wise boy who loves playing. "See this magnificent waterfall? I made it for your enjoyment. I made you. I love you." And then laughter bubbles up and out from within His heart and Elyon & the main character (Tom) go running, dancing, skipping over the mountains and hills.

Who is God? Can we really get close to any true understanding of who He is? If our minds aren't capable of processing more than 1% of all the knowledge in the world, how can we expect to fully comprehend who God is? To that end, we need to pursue Him and yet, abide in Him.

Real versus Fiction.

Reading challenges me to think outside what I already know and embrace. It is not enough and yet, I confess that I am lazy and/or complacent. I don't want to pursue knowledge and understanding of God if it requires too much effort and time. I want it or the knowledge and heart of Him to come to me.

The other challenge is that of "community" or "body of Christ" and how we all fit together, or in some cases, don't. How close are we supposed to be? It seems to me that we go to church, nod at our brothers and sisters in Christ and go back into our own "real" worlds, living our own lives and barely making an impression on those we worship with.

I picture it like this" We walk around in our bubbles, occasionally bumping into each other and making a small dent, but rarely piercing the bubble and getting through to the person.

What is church for? What are friendships for? How much does it really impact on our own individual life? Do you want me to pierce your bubble and see you bleed? Why or why not?

Again, this takes hard work and time and I bet some of you are saying, "I don't have the time or energy to get involved".

Anyway, that's just some of the thinking I've been doing while reading and driving and holidaying. Imagine what else I might think up in the coming days??!!!

No Television

Our family did not acquire a television until I was about ten years old. When we did finally have a black and white one in our possession, some rules came with it.

• No TV before school on a weekday
• No TV until after homework is finished
• If the sun is shining and it's Saturday, turn the TV off and go and play outside
• Meal times are to be shared together in the kitchen, not eaten in the loungeroom
• No TV on Sunday - It's the Lord's day and we don't need to watch it then
• Certain TV programs were not allowed

We grew up with no adverse side effects and although each of my siblings and I are more lenient in allowing our children to watch TV, we didn't suffer because of it. When we were first married, we couldn't afford a TV and when we lived in our next home, we couldn't 'get' TV reception. We survived that too.

Last Friday, my students and I came up with an exercise not to watch TV for a whole week and the responses of the students and their parents has been eye-opening. Now I am beginning to wonder how we did survive without TV when I was a child. After all, we couldn't watch videos, play computer games, play on the computer nor did we have (since it was not yet invented) a Playstation or Gameboy.

A parent came to me and said, "My child gets up at 6am, what's he supposed to do at that time of the morning?"
One parent said, "A week is too long a time to go without a TV."
One dad suggested that the whole family take up the challenge.
A mother told me how her daughter had earned some extra pocket money by helping in the garden.
Another parent commented that her children don't get on as well as she thought they did and she wanted to turn the TV on to get some "peace and quiet".

I actually found it sad that students and parents are so used to TV. The TV has become a necessity rather than a luxury. Whatever happened to imagination? How did I spend my childhood not having access to a TV?

• We climbed trees
• We played cops and robbers
• We played Hide n' seek
• We rode our bikes
• We read books
• We drew and made things
• We played games and made up games
• We visited our friends
• We played cricket and footy (depending on the season)
• We cooked (or some of us did)
• We went to bed earlier than most children these days seem to
• I wrote stories and made up songs
• We played with blocks

What makes all this sad is we're letting the TV to our thinking for us. We're don't need to use our imagination or get creative because the TV does it for us. The TV dominates our life and we're all so used to it that we complain when it's taken from us for a week. A week without TV is hardly going to ruin our lives, is it?